Defining Moments

In the past few weeks many young people have received exam results which can feel particularly significant at this point in their lives. They may determine whether someone will return to school, or choose to pursue another path to further their education or training. They may determine what course someone will study, or the direction in which they will travel in terms of the career they may choose.

On all sorts of levels, it can feel like quite a defining moment. Parents and young people can feel the weight of decisions that they are taking and how they may affect the future. I know a couple of careers guidance teachers and this is an important time of year for them as they try to manage people’s expectations, give well thought out advice and reassure people that, in many cases, we will try a number of things before we find what brings us fulfilment and purpose in life.

I had a very disappointing set of results in my own leaving certificate. Having done very well in my mocks a few months previously and studied hard, I fully expected to repeat the success I had become accustomed to. Instead, I dropped one, if not two grades, in most of my subjects, didn’t gain entry to the course I hoped for and scraped into another one. It certainly dented my confidence, and I know my parents felt very concerned for me, knowing I had given things my best shot.

It transpired that, after a rocky start to my university studies, I found a course that I loved and, ultimately, pursued another direction that has brought great fulfilment and purpose.

One of my favourite autobiographies is that of the adventurer, Simon Reeve. It’s called ‘Step by Step.’ In it, he describes his troubled teenage years, his struggle with depression and involvement in petty crime. He had suicidal thoughts, and the turning point was a kind lady at a job centre who encouraged him to take one more step on the days he felt like giving up. He got a break in getting a job in a newspaper as a messenger boy. It led to other opportunities and doing research which prompted him to write a book. As a result of a terrorist attack on the twin towers in New York in 2001, he became the man the world wanted to speak to as he had knowledge of Al Queda, the organisation behind these terrible attacks. He described struggles with his weight and fitness and his first journey outside London to Scotland where he determined to climb a mountain. He had unsuitable footware and kept calling to mind that advice of just taking one more step until he reached the summit.

As part of what I do now, I have the privilege of sharing life defining moments with people quite often. I get to spend time with them and prepare with them as they contemplate marriage. I get to see people after the birth of a child and how that can completely change their priorities. I get to spend time with people after they have been diagnosed with serious illness and prepare for surgeries and treatment. It is also my privilege, sometimes, to sit with them and their families in their last days and as they come to terms with this.

Very often, defining moments tend to change how we evaluate the importance of things. I spoke with someone who had been through some very challenging health issues not long ago. They had always been very driven in their working life. They constantly looked to make progress, advance the company and give of their very best. They thought nothing of working very long hours, doing extra after work and often working at weekends. The change in their health meant they looked at things in a very new way. The priority now was time with their family and, as soon as the day was done, they left the office and made their way home. Whatever was undone could be attended to the next day as they sought to maximise their time with loved ones.

Sometimes these defining moments have driven people to search spiritually or explore what one Bishop I spoke to recently described as the ‘rumour of God’ in the world. Perhaps they have never given these things much time in the busyness of their lives. These big philosophical questions can take on an increased significance as people try to make sense of their circumstances. In my experience, there is nothing more rewarding or fulfilling than to introduce or reveal to people the love God has for them as shown through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It often brings to people a peace that passes human understanding, and a reassurance through His presence that they are not alone, and a hope that goes beyond the parameters of this earthly life.

Many of life’s circumstances are beyond our control. We have no say over where and when we are born. Some people have considerable challenges to face from the outset. If we have grown up in an environment of war and suffering we will, maybe, be more predisposed towards getting involved in terrorism or conflict. If our circumstances and our neighbourhood are tough, there is an increased likelihood of getting involved in drugs or crime as a response to those realities.

They do not, however, have to define us. The life of faith tells us that we always have hope. The potential for change is there if we surrender our lives to the one who, not only sees what we are, but what we can become.

Can I ask you to hold in prayer all who have experienced disappointing results, their parents and teachers, and the family of Ernie Downey whose funeral will take place on Thursday at 1pm in church.

Looking forward to speaking again soon.

Much love to everyone,

Jono.

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