In Times of Sadness

There are seasons in life in which people go through sadness and disappointment. Churches and church people are not exempt from these times and, recently in our church, we have seen many families experience the pain of losing a loved one.

As this blog invites people to see inside the church from outside the walls, many wonder how we navigate this kind of stuff? Have we some sort of magic bullet that makes sense of these times of turmoil and pain that often come completely out of the blue?

It could be a serious diagnosis of illness, the breakdown of a relationship, a struggle with anxiety or depression, a financial crisis or family problems. Sometimes, we watch people we love endure serious health issues, journey through grief and we feel absolutely powerless to do anything to help.

It’s a terrible feeling. You want to help, but you don’t know what to do. You find it hard to speak to that friend or family member because you are afraid you will make the situation worse, or make them feel more upset than they already are, so you say nothing.

In my experience, both as a church leader and as someone who has had to confront some of these things in my own life, there are no easy answers. Christian people get their fair share of the awful things that happen unexpectedly or without warning.

There are a few resources they have, however, which I believe are extremely valuable.

The first one is prayer. We do have a belief that, whatever we are facing, we do not go through it on our own. We believe in Jesus who promises to journey with us into and through all that we face. That doesn’t mean that he will take it away. Sometimes he does, more often, in my experience, he doesn’t. That doesn’t mean that I can’t ask him to and want him to change things,  but there is a comfort and strength to be had from calling out and knowing he hears me. I believe he comes into the heart of the storm with me, and stays with me, when I don’t know what to do and it seems overwhelming. Some people from outside the church might suggest that’s naïve, but I can only say what I have felt and experienced in the darkest of times in my own life.

The second great resource churches have are people and each other. We don’t live the life of faith on our own, and there are fellow pilgrims on the journey. The beautiful thing about churches is that we are all very different. There are some people who will do practical things in our difficulties. They will give lifts, cook dinners or make sandwiches. There are some who will take over the organisational side of life when we can’t do it for ourselves. They will collect and mind children. They will call people for us, take us to appointments, or enable us to go to them with someone in our family. There are others who will down tools and simply come and be with us. They mightn’t say too much, but they will listen and not judge us as we rail and vent against whatever might be happening. There are others who will pray for us and mobilise others to do so through a phone call or an email.

I am grateful to Robin, our church’s prayer warrior, who makes himself available to pray in confidentiality for anyone who wants that. His email is robsmill24@gmail.com and his mobile is 07513947504. What a beautiful thing to offer people.

Our church has an open policy to any who want to contact us. Sometimes, people want someone from the church to come in a situation of illness, whether someone is at home or in a nursing home or hospital. We are always glad to come and do that. We will always try to respond as quickly as we can to those requests, though it may take a little while.

If someone has been bereaved, we will assist in any way we can to arrange a funeral and pray for and support the family. Sometimes, people want a church service, sometimes they want something in their home, or at a funeral home, or crematorium.

The final resource we have is a significant one, and that is a hope of a life beyond this one. There are many who believe that this life is all that there is and, when it ends, that’s all there is. The church believes in a God who defeated the power of death over us for ever by himself rising from the grave. Many, subsequently, saw him and testified to what they had seen. In the last book of the Bible, the book of Revelation, we are given a vision of heaven as a place where there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, a place where everything is made new. That’s a really powerful and important vision to hold in our hearts, if we can, through the gift of faith. It sustains us when we are often surrounded by much suffering and heartbreak personally, locally and internationally.

Thank you for taking a peek inside the ‘Church Without Walls’ and, if you happen to be a part of this community, can we ask you to hold in your prayers the family of Norah Stranix, whose funeral takes place on Friday in church at 2.30? Can we also pray for the family of Carole Veitch, who died suddenly on holiday, and for the family of Rae McIntyre, as we await details of their funeral arrangements.

Look forward to speaking again soon.

Much love to everyone,

Jono.

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