Making Invitations Meaningful

Many of us will have experienced social occasions where we sometimes feel ill at ease. Maybe it’s because we don’t know many people there and we feel a bit shy or awkward about striking up conversation with people we don’t know very well.

Sometimes, too, we struggle when we don’t quite know what the situation requires of us. We’ve never been at an occasion like this before, or found ourselves in this particular environment, and we are not quite sure what we are supposed to do.

Many years ago, I joined a gym to try to get a bit fitter and, as I togged out in the changing rooms, I heard an announcement speaking about how an advanced step class was about to start and all members of the gym were welcome to a particular studio. I had a rush of blood to the head and decided I would go and, as I made my way into the studio, I immediately felt a bit out of my depth.

There were lots of toned and beautiful people chatting to each other and wearing very funky lycra and leisure wear. Many of them had these steps in front of them, as I wandered in with baggy shorts and holes in my t-shirt. I couldn’t see any steps knocking around, but spied an unattended one in one of the rows, so I thought I would grab it for myself. I was trying to blend in with everyone else and do a few stretches when, suddenly, a very athletic and muscley young man came over and pointed at the step. In a deep voice, that came from somewhere below the floor, he declared I had taken his step and I apologised profusely. He indicated to me where there were a few more steps, and then the instructor arrived. She put on some dance music through the sound system and started to talk through the routines we were all supposed to follow. It became very apparent, after about 20 seconds, that I hadn’t a clue what I was doing. I was on a different leg and arm to everyone else and the instructor came down to try to show me some of the moves. It was pretty mortifying as an experience, and the instructor encouraged me to start at a more basic level before jumping in on the advanced classes.

Have you ever thought how daunting an invitation to church might feel for someone who is not used to going? Maybe they have never been before, or maybe they are there for the first time in many years. Everyone around them seems to know what’s going on. They know the tune to the songs, they can say the responses on the screen or navigate the prayer book. They seem to know some of the other people there who come over to chat to them. They know when to sit down and when to stand up and, those who are unfamiliar with the drill, feel that they are sticking out like a sore thumb.

This is a time of year when we often invite people to church services. There are additional special services during the season of Advent. There are carol services, Christingle services, informal services in the hall. There’s a whole raft of occasions when we might like to invite friends, neighbours and family to come and experience why church is an important part of our lives. We might long for people to encounter Jesus for themselves, but it’s not an easy environment to enter for the uninitiated, or those who are long out of the habit.

Let’s reimagine my visit to the gym for a moment. What a different experience it might have been if someone had invited me personally to the class. If they had taken a moment or two to explain what  a step class is and some things I might find useful, like a step, a bottle of water and a towel. It would have been even better if I had been shown a few of the basic steps we would be doing as part of the routine before going into the class, and if I had tried to do these on the steps we would be using.

As we issue invitations to church this Christmas, and it is a wonderful thing to do, can we arrange to meet those we invite before we go in so they have someone to sit with? Can we say a few words about what to expect? There will be some singing, and don’t worry if you don’t know the songs, you’ll pick them up as the tune is not too hard. Can we explain that someone will lead from the front and there may be responses for us to say? There might be a Bible reading or a number of them, and someone might try to explain how they relate to our everyday lives. There might be someone leading prayers, talking to God on all our behalf about situations in the world, in the church, in our lives. At some point, someone might pass a basket or plate in front of you. Don’t feel you have to contribute but, if you’d like to,  the money collected goes to serve the work and ministry of the church .

These are all pretty basic things if you have been going to church for some time, but think how unusual and strange they might feel to someone who has never been before and doesn’t have a clue what to expect. You could make all the difference in making it a much easier and less stressful experience. If you spot someone on their own, and you think they might struggle, why not sit near them? Tell them they are welcome, acknowledge that, sometimes, the books seem a bit complicated and, if they want to share with you or need a hand with anything, you’d be glad to help.

It’s the small things you do that can make things so meaningful when it comes to invitations.

The blog will be taking a break after next week until the new year. Thanks to so many for reading it, sharing encouraging words about it, and look forward to speaking again soon.

Much love to everyone,

Jono.

Listen to the latest episode of ‘Bitesize Chunks of Faith’