7 Great Words to Bring to a Conversation

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to everyone! I spent the morning doing what I have done for maybe the past 20 years or so, and took myself off to the little church where it is believed St. Patrick planted his first church in Ireland in 432 AD. The beautiful little church of Saul is about 3 miles outside Downpatrick, and I got a bus from the town out to Saul where there was a Communion service at 9.15 am.

Then I took part in the pilgrimage from Saul to Down Cathedral before the festival service at 11.45. On the pilgrimage I usually enjoy some really interesting conversations. I meet some people I know, but many I don’t, who have made the pilgrimage to be part of this special day. People share something of their story with you as you walk together and stop to pray at about 4 points on the way.

There is something very powerful and beautiful about being part of a community, whether that is a faith community, or a community that shares a bond or common goal.

I find the communities that are involved in the same activities as my children and family to be a great source of richness and friendship in my life. A few weeks ago, I was in Cork for a couple of days with my son for a climbing weekend. He does the climbing, I do the driving but, over the years he has been involved in this sport, he has made friends from all over Ireland. We tend to bump into the same people at competitions and training events and they are so welcoming and openhearted.

When I went into collect him after the first days training, I got into conversation with a lady who was in to collect her son and daughter. She was hoping they would make their dinner reservation as the children were in no hurry to leave. They were meeting another family at the restaurant and, as we chatted and watched our children climbing together, she said, “You would be welcome to join us.” She could see that they were having great times climbing together and said, if we phoned ahead, the place would surely be able to squeeze us into their booking. That’s exactly what we did and we had a great evening together.

There’s a very special sense of community among parents who have children with special needs, and we end up going to a lot of events together. Interestingly, churches are often the venue and wonderful people host special afternoons with activities and crafts and music and food. There’s something powerful about watching our children having fun together, getting to compare notes and swap advice about medical things or sleep or behavioural issues.

So often, those same seven words are at the heart of the messages that are exchanged, especially if it’s holiday time or school is off, we are going bowling or to a coffee shop. “You would be welcome to join us.” There’s never a pressure there, as so often last minute crises mean the best laid plans don’t work out. What you do know is that, if you can make it, you will be in a safe place and people will welcome you, and you will usually go away feeling better than before you arrived.

In Ireland, we have a reputation for hospitality and yet, in truth, we are often shy or nervous about making these invitations. What if people have much more exciting things to do? What if they find us boring, or will they think it’s strange to receive an invitation?

One of the marvellous things about pilgrimage is that you walk together in the same direction. You can be talking to one person then drift into conversation with someone else on the other side of you. It’s the sort of environment where people are generally open to having conversations even with people they haven’t met before.

It’s a special thing to be included and invited no matter who we are and what the environment might be.

As we journey through the season of Lent and towards Holy Week and Easter, how willing are we to include others in our events and celebrations?

Maybe we feel a bit fearful or apprehensive of inviting others? We may not feel confident that the service or event will be very inspiring. We may be nervous of appearing pushy or intense, but I wonder can I bring into my church life something of the special things I have found in those other communities I am blessed to be a part of?

How hard might it be for me, or us, to say, “I’m going to these special services during Lent or Holy Week that speak about the significance of Jesus’s last week on earth, you would be welcome to join me/us.”

“You would be welcome to join us.”

Look forward to speaking again soon.

Much love to everyone,

Jono.

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